Mr. Fantasy (mrfantasy) wrote,
Mr. Fantasy

Precisely what the world needs

I was reading my email, and I got some spam. From Iomega. Thanks to their crack team of engineers, their tireless devotion to quality storage products, they have graced us with the presence of the 750 MB Zip drive.

Just yesterday, I was saying to myself, "Man, I hate these CD-Rs and CD-RWs. Everything uses them. I can't differentiate myself if I use them. And I can't pay more than like $1 even for the fancy rewriteables."

But thanks to Iomega, I can now store SLIGHTLY MORE than I can on a CD, and now I can piss away $12.50 per disk if I want to buy an 8-pack, or to increase my burn rate, I can pay $14.99 for single disks. I wonder if they'd let me buy a bunch of disks at the single disk price. Perhaps if I buy a quantity not divisible by 8 I can get away with that. Also, I can spend $180 on the device itself. This is over twice as much as a CD-RW. I am so happy that Iomega is making it possible for me to spend my money. I was just lamenting today that I have entirely too much money. Now, Iomega will let me spend it on Zip products--and we all know that means I'll have to keep buying disks, and the drives, to continue to enjoy my data. And I will be the envy of all as I carry the tiny plastic clamshells that no one else can use. It's quality data security! Just TRY and read the data from my 750 MB Iomega Zip disk! Whereas, if you have a CD-R or CD-RW, I can take it and look at it all I want! Muhahahaha!

I'm glad Iomega is out there to push the frontiers of data storage. Perhaps one day they'll make a 1GB Zip drive and a 2GB Zip Drive. I'd suggest they make them out of a hard aluminum substrate. Maybe change the name to something, well, jazzier.

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